he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
