Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
