Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
