I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
