Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
worst night to have a conscience
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
