Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
