I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
