Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
