you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm at about main and main street
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize