you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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