my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The air taste purple.
Randomize
