im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
