we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
