He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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