dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
