is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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