I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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