Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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