His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
