I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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