Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
