Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
