Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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