He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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