I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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