The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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