we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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