We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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