Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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