Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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