i permit you to call me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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