He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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