the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
