I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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