Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
