It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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