I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
