You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
