Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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