yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Congratulations! We have a period
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
