i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
