The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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