I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize