The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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