So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think my tv is drunk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
