i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
