I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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