Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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