ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
