I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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