Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
