come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
