please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
