Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize