Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
