I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize