i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
