I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
