Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
