Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize