also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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