I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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