once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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