I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love having hate sex.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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