I've blown a few things in my day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize