he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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