apparently the secret to your success is patron
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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