Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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