i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize