Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
